Well, I got an email from my, I will call her “editor,” the other day. I have been threatening to start writing for my page for months now. Summer is beginning to wane and there is a new moon afoot so, the urge hit me to reach out to her and tell her I had not died or moved away – just gotten busy over the last few months, but NOW I am back and ready to dig in…..
And, nothing.
What keeps me from sitting down and taking proverbial pen to page? Fear of Failure? That what I have to say is not worthy or interesting? Or, could I possibly admit that it could be Fear of Success? What if it’s really good? What if this is what I have been waiting for all these years to have happen? I grew up with the idea that I had to get things right the first time, no margin of error, pretty much a black and white view of operation. .. and I had beginner’s luck on many things. The first ceramic pot I threw on the wheel was beautiful! I thought, this is my calling!
Never got another one like it, and of course, gave up! I have dabbled in many different things looking for what would be my passion… and it was not always difficult to start something – difficult to pursue thru failures and persevere but not really to start. As I got older, I guess, I became less willing to take those chances and once I started with my bodywork practice, I became passionate and focused on this as my career. It became my reason for everything and my identity. I have noticed of late how difficult it is for me to take an idea and just go with it. Am I too deep in my rut of routine, the safety of which keeps me in line but, like all ruts, can get deeper and deeper until you can no longer see over the top anymore? And those are really tough to climb over. Actually one needs to ask for help… which is a topic for another day! (note to self).
So how does this relate to “Just Start?”
The saying “the journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step” comes to mind. Perhaps just putting these words and thoughts to paper, as my editor suggested, is the way to open the gate. climb out of the rut, which can be rather unbalancing til you crest the top of it. Have you ever tried waterskiing? Cutting the wake? I still remember the first time making up my mind to “go for it” one ski at a time, hanging on for dear life because , I didn’t want to fall! – and the pure thrill of actually making it over the edge with the second ski and suddenly there you are out in the bigger world, not just behind the safety of the boat! HUGE! (of course, then one has to cut back again- but that is another story! )
So, here I am, taking my first leap of faith, cutting the wake, throwing my first pot, but I have all these years of experience behind me now, and know my own habits and my own self deceptions and I think now it is different.
Have you been thinking about starting that yoga class or fitness program? Just Start!
Have you wanted to feel more vitality and energy ? Try a Thai Massage – just start something new.
You will never know how good therapeutic bodywork can be for you if you don’t try it! It may just be the thing that gets you out of your rut.
